I am pooped. I have been working very hard for you these last two days at court and at agencies but getting very little done. There seems to be so much waiting around with no resolution. I also make a bunch of phone calls to try to help you as well. I have all of your paperwork together, I was even looking at your birth certificate today, and I miss you so much. Today a lady printed out some of the details of our case and it makes me so sad to see how much money is being spent just to keep you abused and unhealthy while you are hidden from your own father by your mother. Even worse is to know how much more money is going to be spent until you are back with me. It seems like it the expense will never end for no reason, 2 tooth brushes, 2 houses, 2 beds, 2 of almost everything until you are older and then you will get two presents for your kids as well as two wedding gifts and even two graduation gifts. This is part of the reason why children have a harder time when one parent decides to divorce the other and hide the child. Your mother wants you to only be able to visit with me in an expensive environment if you are to visit with me at all and they will receive 2 payments from each parent. This money should be used on you, your education, your health, your food, your clothing, and your quality long term time with your parents.
I do want to be with you each day. I am trying to relax now and take care of myself before I go again tomorrow. I am spending around 4-5 hours each day commuting but I am eating well and I do believe this will be over soon. When it is over* you will be able to spend long term quality time with your parents including your father. Until it is over I will not stop fighting. I spoke with many other fathers and mothers today that are going through similar problems and it is so sad that you have not been able to see me at all. Almost every mother that I speak with does everything they can to help their child see the father even when they have been stabbed (by the mother or the father — heard from one of each today) and one of them even mentioned that a person we know said that they were “too nice” by letting the child spend time with the other parent which is disturbing because we all know that it is healthy for children to be able to spend quality long term time with both parents.
I want you to know that you do not need to give into manipulation. Do what is right and don’t get distracted. Even when other people break their promises things can be worked out and you must think for yourself. Don’t allow others to make moral decisions for you. Make your own path. When you make life long promises like to stay married, do it and don’t quit when things get tough. Don’t file for divorce and give up when things are hard. Communicate with people, even the ones that you may not like, and work things out. If you can be a friend of your enemy then you no longer have an enemy.
I love you, I want to be with you today, and I really wish we could take a nap together. I am so tired but I will get through it and rest for at least part of the week.
Your left behind father,